Case Studies

Miri's Story: ‘I felt demeaned, just for being a woman’

I knew I had to bite the bullet and face the fact and get it sorted. So I took the first steps of ringing around and finding out how to obtain a Sharia divorce. I was advised that it would be easy to just ring my local mosque and see if they would send a scholar or an Imam down who would chat to the both of us and get me the divorce I want. It all seemed straight forward but little did I know it was far from it.

When I contacted the Imam he said there was nothing he could do for me. He said there was no number I could contact or no one else he knew that could help me. I was new to this and it was extremely hard to accept and adjust to the concept that this was going to be my battle and I had to be strong for my family and my kids.

I found a Sharia Council telephone number on the internet. Eventually when I got through to them they said I had to complete an application form and pay a fee of around £100. Thinking that the procedure would be straight forward it was far from it. It was a battle that was to commence and continue for 2 years!! Emotionally I was drained, mentally shattered and physically tired already. Once my application was accepted I had to ring every other day just to find out the process due to their lack of response. I still didn’t give up, if anything this was making me stronger and determined to fight more. I wanted justice!!

A month after submitting my application I received my first letter to say they had received my application and it had been forwarded to the correct department. The Sharia Council then sent out another letter that I had to fill in.

By this time two months had gone by and very little had been done. I received a request to send proof of my husband’s whereabouts. Luckily for me, my Sharia case was running in conjunction with my civil divorce. My solicitors had all the proof but this then meant that I had to arrange another appointment with my solicitor to get this letter written up confirming my husband’s address. Every time a job was done it would set me back by a month and prolong the case.

The Sharia Council had sent my husband three letters with no reply. This, in my eyes, should have been enough for a divorce but not for them. Even after the last letter they said they had to give him a three month cooling off period to comply or respond.

Then I was sent a letter to say that I had to give him full access or, if not, hand over my children for him to raise!!!! This was the ultimate blow for me as I felt I had been waiting all this time only to be told that my children will be taken away from me and my family. I thought my life had ended and I was thrown into deep water and there was no way out. I was told that if I didn’t accept this then my divorce could not go ahead. I was at the same time in court for the contact for my children with my husband. The courts and the Children and Family Court Advisory and Support Service who were independently going through the case to resolve this in the best interests of the children said my husband was not to have any contact with the children. In court he accepted this without argument due to the level of violence involved. When I told this to the Sharia Council they wanted evidence, so I sent them all the court documents.

As far I was concerned the Sharia Council had all the required documents and there could be no reason to refuse. Then a letter came stating that I had to return the entire dowry I had in order for the final process. I then wrote back saying that I no longer had the gold jewellery stated on the Nikah (marriage certificate) because all the jewellery had already been sold by my husband in order to pay off his debt. His letter was taken into account and only then was I granted my certificate. It was a long road which I feel should not have taken so long. The pain and stress was unnecessary. I feel I was let down by the Sharia Council and demeaned just for being a woman. And what shouldn’t be forgotten is that all this time not only was I suffering but also my children and my family.